The Good and the Bad

Well lets start with the bad. Just to get it out of the way.

Alll day I have been having very negative thoughts about myself. It started when i got dressed this morning for work. I am a NICU nurse, so scrubs are the uniform. And the pants….they BARELY fit. Now that wouldnt bother me too much, except 6 months ago I was in a size medium. Not these are large and I barely fit in them!!!!!!!

I have something (HORRIBLE) to admit. I have gone from 160ish lbs to 180s. Yep.I have gained almost 30 lbs. I think i know why, I started two new medications that increase weight. So Im going to talk to my doctor about it. but it still shouldnt increase that much! Right? 

 I dont like how I like. I looked in the mirrow this morning (with only a bra and my scrub pants on-ok too much info) But I thought- biggest loser (I know I saw the show last night) but my love handles were hanging over my pants. Im usually pretty “skinny” around the middle. and carry my weight in my butt and thighs. I couldnt stand the sight of it.

I have been working my BUTT off this past week. Running 7 miles. Taking spinning at the gym. Everyday I have pretty much done something. But NOTHING is happening.


I just received the P90X DVDs from my brother. He got them and is nice enough to share! YEA! So Im going to try and get rid of my negative thoughts after work by going to the gym or doing a DVD. ( also my AWESOME spark friends have suggested the P90X stretch dvd)

I really appreciate you all reading about my bad day. I just dont really know where to turn. I want to look in the mirror and feel good about myself, not think YUCK. But where do I go from here……….

8 thoughts on “The Good and the Bad”

  1. Hugs to you…
    I think I said it all on SP – and if only you could have seen me crying to my friend just 2 weeks ago….I’d lost 30 lbs last year. I was down to 140 (I don’t have my weight on my SP tracker), but then pretty much maintained 142 all summer/fall. After Thanksgiving, it started to creep up. By Jan I was up to 150ish. Then I started working out again, tracking food, “being good” again, so to speak. We are in week 4 of round 2 of P90X – during week 3, I had my meltdown. I’d gained 3 lbs. Oh, the horror! In my brain I knew that it was from holding water from the muscle tissue breaking/growing etc…but it still devastated me. It took my friend to take away my scale and me not focus on it. The stress of not checking my weight has helped. I still “Jones” for it every few days, but I’m getting more used to not having it around and using “how I feel” in my clothes. I’ve still got a way to go to get back to where I was, and it will take lots of work and patience….some days are better than others.

    You’ve got a lot on your plate…take it one day at a time….know that you are loved and that you are awesome….inside and out….HUGS!!!!!

      1. Saw you joined the Bring It team – lots of my questions were answered there, but ask me anything…I’d love to help!

      1. I did start on the schedule – I followed the Lean Schedule… It’s the same for 3 weeks, then the 4th week is a “rest” kind of week with no ST, just yoga, stretch, cardio….Then week 5 picks up ST for 3 weeks again…. I think you can find the schedule either on the SP Team page where the forms are listed in the FAQ or maybe I found it on the Beach Body website after clicking P90X and there were forms to download. I”ll see if I saved it to my computer and if I did, I’ll email it to you…

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