I stink

Trust me, Ill explain the title. Now for the eats

Breakfast was yummy pancakes. I was going to take a picture…..then a couldnt find my camera (insert a lot of panic)

 Luckily, I found it in my purse….not so lucky, that I ate it all before I found it haha

It was then time for the post office. Party City. Target.

I made cupcakes for my friends bachelorette party tomorrow.

Box of cake mix + 12 oz of diet soda= HEAVEN!

Then I will add cool whip on top tomorrow.

 The bachelorette party is in springfield IL. I am one of the bridesmaids. Here I am with the bride (in the orange) with two of the other bridesmaids.

After making cupcakes, it was time to make the bride’s cup for tomorrow.

This isnt the best picture. But I put hearts and different shapes around the top and bottom. Also a J (for the bride) and M (for the groom) I hope she likes it! I love doing projects like this!

All that fun work required some fuel. (even though I snacked all morning on cashews

They are the devil!

Then lunch consisted of ONLY orange (and yummy foods)

 cantaloupe, colby cheese, and sweet potato fries
Dinner I went all brown. A bowl of cereal. Boring.
THEEENNNNNNNN it was movie night with Andrew

I had a glass of wine and 100 cal popcorn, while he had mini chips ahoy (LUCKY)

——————————————————————————————-SOOOO back to the title.

Basically I feel like I stink, not in a BO sense, but a failure to myself…

. I am not happy with whats going on right now with my body. I have absolutely no energy. Today just running a few errands, totally kicked my butt. I never use to be this way! I use to run/bike for miles EACH day. I would take break days, but I ALWAYS got back to it. I dont know if its the meds Im on, the lack of sun Ive been getting, hormone problems, or just plain laziness.

this was a year ago

 Today I figured out my calories on sparkpeople.com (which I love) and it was almost 2000 calories! WHAT! I dont know what my deal is. I eat. Dont exercise. Cant Sleep.

I know I am stressed about my soon to be house. But I have these clothes……

(my closet is NOT this clean right now)

……………………………………………………………………………………………….nothing fits.

I have gained 30lbs in the past 6 months. My booty looks like two basketballs. I jiggle. I hate looking in the mirror. I have a wedding next month that I have to wear my dress and feel good about it! I dont want to go out because when I have to find something to wear I get depressed.

I dont want to give up. I want to have a healthy body. I want to look in the mirror and think DAMN she looks good. (haha)

Ok enough debbie downer.

I guess I just need some help.

I dont know what else to say. Im actually tearing up while typing this.

Im lost.

9 thoughts on “I stink

  1. Ugh! Girl…I’m sending hugs your way…I’ve been where you are! It’s a lonely place…but, you aren’t alone! You’ve got a bunch of people who love you and who can support you….can you use your brother as an accountability partner? When the two of you trained for the Tri you did great….

    You are such an amazing woman and an inspiration to many….if you want, I will be your accountability partner, if you can’t find one close to home, I’m just a text or email away!!!!

    Hugs to you for the weekend…get out and walk the dog….take in the fresh air and clear your head. You’ve got a lot on your plate, take baby bites out of it and break down all of the stressors you’ve got right now…then attack them little by little….take back the control! You are a strong woman! You will succeed!

    • thanks! I love how each time you post, you put a smile on my face and raise my spirits!!
      I need to print out your posts, and put them all over so I see them everyday haha

      • Too sweet – It must be the mama in me…just want all my ducklings to be happy and well!
        So glad you are doing better…keep up the hard work!

  2. Girl you will get through this. We have been spark bffs for over a year now (holy moly?)! Everyone has their ups and downs. For me, it was in September-January. I think that if you take a week to be accountable! Heck, I’ll keep you accountable-it will jump start you back to how you used to be.

    • we have be spark friends for over a year!?!?! I cant believe that. wow. Well Im so glad your my spark friend, and now my blog friend haha
      New week is starting. Heading to the gym after work. Even if Im only there 10 minutes, at least Im going!

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