Lost

Im not kidding. i am lost in many ways, but especially without my camera. I don’t even know what to post without pictures (because really who wants to read my post without some good pics? haha)

Anyway, I do have a silly video, but first thing is first. UPDATES

Most of these updates are stressing me out:

  • Moving THIS weekend!!! (finally) – This will be my FIRST time living by myself. EVER.
  • I still haven’t found my camera- a few more calls and emails tomorrow
  • I have no money- see every house post there is on here, then you will know why haha
  • In one week, I will get my blood drawn again- see why here
  • Ian and I are not going to be together- its a long story.

                                 I don’t even know where to start or how to say it, and several friends in the NICU have seen the tears, we don’t need to go into it. (basically he is the same guy that wants different things than me, and has different priorities. It still hurts ALOT. I am an optimist and I always try to see the good in people and thing positive. (sometimes I can be a negative nancy, but in the end I know everything works out) Ian and I have known eachother for 8 years now. I thought maybe he had grown up.Realized to put other people first. Unfortuantly that is not the case)

Being single stresses me out. Plain and simple. Not because I know I can’t do it. I have been doing it forever. I was the kid who always played house w/ a mom, dad, and a bunch of kids. I was ALWAYS the “mom” whenever I played with other kids. Heck. Im a nurse who takes care of babies ALL DAY. I love kids and wanted to have a million four.

Yes. I know I am only 26yrs old. But I saw myself in a very different place just a few years ago. So its been hard for me.

  • I was signed up for a triathlon this saturday and can’t do it- basically I haven’t been training either I have been too busy, tired, or lazy. I also dont want to squeeze my 30 extra lbs into my tri outfit. But Im still going to cheer on a few people I know
  • My to do list is long. I feel like Im being stretched in too many different ways
  • Moving. I know I said this one, but moving away from my parents. I KNOW. I KNOW. My mom and I bump heads A few times….here and there. BUT I will miss them. I also will have to get use to locking the doors (dad usually does this) cleaning everything (my mom and I do this) paying for everything (eek!) and it is going to be SOOOOO quiet (although andrew does make a good amount of noise haha. And burglars scare me!

 

  • I still have 80 emails in my inbox. haha THis one makes me laugh, but really having that many emails is not cool. When I told my friend Nicole this, she looked at me and said, “you know how many I have? 11,000!” hahah apparently she doesn’t check this email address

Ok. now im going to try and get this video to upload. its of Andrew trying to “surf” down the sand dune in Michigan

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umw9duSY8aY

well off to bed-Goodnight!

One thought on “Lost

  1. Video was funny – I think I’ve been to those dunes…once…with my 1st husband before we were married…talk about long stories….they are really cool, though….
    Anywho…I have a ton to say to you, but I’m afraid that my response would be longer than your post! So I’ll limit it to…
    You will be ok. Right now focus on what’s most important…find some joy in your move and time with Andrew. Don’t look at the HUGE picture – it’s too overwhelming. Get into a new routine at your new home, get some REALLY GOOD sleep and eat well. When you are in a routine in a week or 2, then start to work on the other issues….for now, just find something that is a blessing in each day….many hugs to you, friend!!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s