Im not sure where to start this post….my emotions are all over the place……
But, I have been having mix feelings.
First: I am NOT AT ALL used to a guy treating me this well. I have never been put first. It is extremely strange to me.
He bought my mom playing cards (because she collects them, to an extent) just because, and when he made an appointment for me to get a manicure pedicure, I couldn’t believe it.
Second: In the past, my relationships have been less than par. I have been cheated on. I have been ignored. You name it, its pretty much happened. And through all of that, I have put up a wall. EACH. AND. EVERY TIME. So I have A LOT of walls placed around myself, Andrew, and my family. I am extremely protective.
Soooooo unfortuantly, I don’t think Ryan is the guy for me. And not because he doesn’t treat me right. Because he does! But, I don’t have that spark. You guys know how I feel about THE SPARK. I gotta have it. haha
I want that feeling of I Can’t Wait To See Them….. I hope they come over… What should we do next….
And even with all the good, there were some parts that didn’t vibe w/ me.
I wanted to keep you guys all in the loop. I guess its back to the dating scene 😦
But, I do have a fear. with all the walls I have put up, will I ever find that Spark with someone?