Finding the Spark

Im not sure where to start this post….my emotions are all over the place……

I started talking to Ryan a few weeks ago. Things were going very well. We went on several dates. Got some ice cream. Watched a few movies. He even treated me to a manicure and pedicure!

But, I have been having mix feelings.

(rewind)

First: I am NOT AT ALL used to a guy treating me this well. I have never been put first. It is extremely strange to me.

He bought my mom playing cards (because she collects them, to an extent) just because, and when he made an appointment for me to get a manicure pedicure, I couldn’t believe it.

Second: In the past, my relationships have been less than par. I have been cheated on. I have been ignored. You name it, its pretty much happened. And through all of that, I have put up a wall. EACH. AND. EVERY TIME. So I have A LOT of walls placed around myself, Andrew, and my family. I am extremely protective.

Soooooo unfortuantly, I don’t think Ryan is the guy for me. And not because he doesn’t treat me right. Because he does! But, I don’t have that spark. You guys know how I feel about THE SPARK. I gotta have it. haha

I want that feeling of I Can’t Wait To See Them….. I hope they come over… What should we do next….

And even with all the good, there were some parts that didn’t vibe w/ me.

I wanted to keep you guys all in the loop. I guess its back to the dating scene 😦

But, I do have a fear. with all the walls I have put up, will I ever find that Spark with someone?

5 thoughts on “Finding the Spark

  1. Love the new look on the blog! I have built up so many walls from people who have hurt me in the past…it’s so horrible. And it is so hard to let new people into my life because of them 😦 I am sorry that things didn’t work out, but you deserve the best ever and it will come along one day!

  2. Oh, girl! You know that you can’t settle for just “ho hum”….I know that you will find your prince charming (and there will be days he’ll be a frog…mostly charming, though!!!) Hang in there…it’s hard when you’ve been hurt….really hard….chin up, though! Remember, you’ve got to kiss a bunch of frogs before you find the prince….

  3. Pingback: One Flaw « Livin' Life In Louie

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