After yesterday (and not a lot of sleep), I decided something that is very hard for me to admit.
I compare myself to others, and put myself down because of it.
I did a lot of thinking and crying about life. I was feeling stressed about work. I was going over the situation in my head. I was feeling alone, and wondering why everyone else seems to have a husband or boyfriend. The mouse situation wasn’t helping. haha
While laying in bed for hours thinking, I started to feel calm. I am trying to control so much and I realized, I have an amazing life. I need to stop focusing on what I don’t have, and realize all the amazing things I do have.
I know alot of my issues come from looking at what others have, and thinking I need that. They are perfect, and I want to be like them. Because of that, I miss what I have right in front of my face.
I miss my family, who help me EVERY week with Andrew and my house remodeling adventures 🙂 And support me, even when I’m not very nice. They are the ones I seem to push away first, and the farthest.
I miss Andrew, who is my everything and growing by the day! One day he won’t want to talk and have me scratch his back before bed
I miss my friends, who are always there for me. Good times and bad.
Bottom line, I am just missing life. My life. No it isn’t perfect. I won’t ever have a million dollars. Or the biggest house. Or be a size 0. I might not find a husband. I can’t be superwomen.
And today I realized, I’m OKKKK with all of that. Well, Im working on it. It might be my Type A personality….. haha. But this is helping me focus on me and my family, and not focusing on what others have. It is not about the HAVES and HAVE NOTS. No one is perfect (heck I don’t want to be). Just living in the moment.
My happiness is mine to keep and if I let it slip past, I won’t even know I have it, until its gone.