You might be a NICU nurse….

Today, is my third shift in a row in the NICU (my fourth this week. Yep. I picked up another shift) and this little post was going around facebook, I just had to share it! I didn’t make it. I FOUND IT HERE! I

I agree with each and everyone, except the support from the doctors. Luckily, we have some pretty awesome Attendings and Fellows (the residents we still have questions about haha) but even still we are all extremely supportive of each other, and take each others advice. We work as a team, and the nurses are lucky enough that doctors will ask “what do you think?” and they should because we are there for 12 hrs at the bedside, and without us, everyone would be lost 🙂

You might be a NICU nurse if…

*You scrub your hands like a surgeon

*You measure age, not in years, but in weeks and adjusted weeks.

*You plan your day in 3 hour increments.

*You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if the phrase, “wow, it is really quiet” is uttered.

*You know that ‘Snuggle-up’ is an object, and is not referring to what you do with your boyfriend on the sofa.

*Finding poop in a diaper makes you cheer because you are obsessed with NEC and suspicious all your babies have it.

*You like to give glycerine suppositories out like candy- (for same reason above).

*You recognize that feeding tubes can be time-savers.

*You hear 4 or 5 different types of all-to-familiar beeping in your sleep.

*You recognize that taping is an art-form.

*You wonder why thermometers haven’t advanced with the times…

*The admission of a 28 week antepartum patient makes you antsy.

*You could describe poop about a dozen different ways…(eg. Meconium, transitional, green, yellow, yellow-seedy, brown…)

*The IV team won’t come to your unit… YOU are the master.

*You are a breastfeeding advocate but find yourself wanting to scream, “JUST GIVE THE KID A BOTTLE!”

*You measure weight in grams, and kilos

*You’ve ever heard, “The parents won’t be coming in today”, and been overcome with joy.

*You know that kangarooing has nothing to do with kangaroos.

*You’ve documented the amount of ‘jiggle’…Yeah, that’s medical jargon.

*You know that “Feeder-Grower” isn’t a description of a lawn care product.

*You’ve ever referred to a baby as a ‘glow worm’.

*You’re sure you could write your own “crazy baby name” book using the names of your patients.

*You’ve ever cried at the discharge of a patient, because they felt more like family.

*You take pride in making up a “cute” bed for your patient.

*You’ve been in a critical situation, where the most highly qualified physician offered you the most advice, the least support…and illegible orders.

*You believe: if the baby is quiet, be scared.

*You’re patients don’t use a call bell when they need you- instead an orchestra of 3 or more alarms of different tones get your attention.

*You’ve witnessed a preemie escape mission…they made it as far as the portholes.

*You’ve ever wished for a restraining order to protect a baby from their idiot parents.

*You believe that to refuse a baby a pacifier is cruel and unusual punishment-for both the baby, and you.

*You refer to sweet-ease as ‘a shot of happiness’.

Question for you:
Have you ever been to a NICU before?

2 thoughts on “You might be a NICU nurse….”

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