Finding the Spark

Im not sure where to start this post….my emotions are all over the place……

I started talking to Ryan a few weeks ago. Things were going very well. We went on several dates. Got some ice cream. Watched a few movies. He even treated me to a manicure and pedicure!

But, I have been having mix feelings.

(rewind)

First: I am NOT AT ALL used to a guy treating me this well. I have never been put first. It is extremely strange to me.

He bought my mom playing cards (because she collects them, to an extent) just because, and when he made an appointment for me to get a manicure pedicure, I couldn’t believe it.

Second: In the past, my relationships have been less than par. I have been cheated on. I have been ignored. You name it, its pretty much happened. And through all of that, I have put up a wall. EACH. AND. EVERY TIME. So I have A LOT of walls placed around myself, Andrew, and my family. I am extremely protective.

Soooooo unfortuantly, I don’t think Ryan is the guy for me. And not because he doesn’t treat me right. Because he does! But, I don’t have that spark. You guys know how I feel about THE SPARK. I gotta have it. haha

I want that feeling of I Can’t Wait To See Them….. I hope they come over… What should we do next….

And even with all the good, there were some parts that didn’t vibe w/ me.

I wanted to keep you guys all in the loop. I guess its back to the dating scene 😦

But, I do have a fear. with all the walls I have put up, will I ever find that Spark with someone?

Playing Catch Up

MAN. I hate being away from this blog. But life has been crazy busy. Between working a three day weekend. Hanging out w/ Ryan. And then trying to get my life back together…..well Im a mess and still haven’t caught up on all my blogs!!! (the most frustrating part haha)

Today started out w/ packing ANdrew’s lunch. I put a special note in

I was then picked up by Ryan for a SURPRISE day. I asked a MILLION questions trying to figure out what the surprise was….but I wasn’t even close.

A week ago, we were talking about manicures and pedicures (who knows whY) and I say I usually only do this as a treat or for a special occasion. That it is really hard sometimes for me to spend $ and that I don’t have much time. (then I asked if he gets them hahaha. He doesnt) But today, he bought me coffee  and took me to get my nails done.

Apparently he knows what he is doing. It was perfect! We then went out to lunch. One day, Ill get a picture of the two of us (can you believe I haven’t taken ONE picture…crazy)

Then it was time for my FIRST run outside w/ my new kicks. 4miles!

IT IS in the 50s HERE!!!!! And I love it! I also saw this on fb and thought it was awesome

After making some yummy dinner (recipe tomorrow!)

It was time for boy scouts w/ Andrew, and we made this pretty crafty scrapbook (some moms have all the talent!)

This would be my favorite page we made haha

Well Im off to bed, but I need to catch you guys up on Ryan. He is pretty awesome, and its kindof freaking me out. Im not use to it! Goodnight!

Question for you:

What are you up to? Anything fun this weekend?

What is the temperature like where you are?