This week has been very stressful. I think being out of town the past couple of weeks, and the other days working, I haven’t had a day at home since July. My sister in law, who is pregnant with twins, start contracting on Monday. Luckily they were able to slow the contractions. I have been helping with my three year old nephew (who I love!) but it takes up all my time and I haven’t been able to get anything done. Which then makes me anxious. There are other “things” going on, but lets not dwell…
I will say there are TON of emotions going on over here, but I have been doing great with the “eats”. With lots of healthy options, I haven’t turned to sweets! WAHOOO!!!!
Question for you: Does exercise help you de-stress?
There are no secrets around here. (ok. maybe a few) But when it comes to weight lose, working out, and eating healthy, I’m an open book. I struggle. The 30lbs that I have been trying to lose (since I gained it back 2 years ago!) is still here. I’m frustrated with myself that it isn’t coming off. It is up to me! And I can’t seem to do it. The sense of being a failure is there everyday. I see other people losing weight, and I think “see they can do it! why can’t YOU!”
negative thoughts crowd my mind. And with swim suit season it makes me want to move to Alaska.
My son is starting to notice people, and their sizes. He doesn’t say anything negative, he just observes. He must hear me or my mom talking about losing weight, because he mentioned how much he weighed. (he is a bean pole!)
I grew up with a mother who is overweight. I LOVE my mom, and she was always there for me. She was an amazing person, and her weight never bothered me. But sometimes her weight got in the way. Now even, she can’t run far or fast to keep up with the grand kids. I don’t want to be an overweight mom or grandma. I want to set a good example.
I want to be healthy!
My goal is to find a way to be healthy. Not lose X amount of weight, but to eat what is right for MY body, to go to the park with my son, play basketball, and eat healthy because I want to, not because I need to (ok. I need to, but moving on haha)
recently, I have found a few things that I hope to help me along the way….
Gretchen at honey I shrunk the gretchen is pretty awesome. She lives life to the fullest (and is hilarious!) she is also going through her own roller coaster of weight lose. She definitely gives me inspiration!
Janetha talks about balancing your life. But enjoying to the fullest! It doesn’t have to be eat your veggies, workout etc etc. Here I learned I need to get back to setting goals. I used to race in half marathons, triathlons,a nd now I workout because I want to lose this weight. Its time to make it fun and alittle competitive! Also, I need to relax more, my stress it just hurting me!
Caitlyn at healthytippingpoint mentioned adding “juices” to her diet. Here is the rebootwithjoe. I don’t think I will go for 5 days on JUST “juice” but I think if I added it as a snack, it would be a great way to get in my veggies! She also mentions working out on vacation, which I will need because we leave soon for the beach!
My cousin also mentioned she was doing weightwatchers online (she needs to lose like 5lbs…) so I have thought of that, but the idea of using money for that just doesn’t appeal to me. I have to get my property surveyed this week. 450 bucks. (another stressor) I have started faithfully using sparkpeople.com. I used this site when I lost 30lbs (the first time haha)
I’m sorry this is such a long (and maybe boring) post. I don’t mean for it to be that way, but I had to get it out there. It isn’t always happy and sunny over here. Now its time to kick butt, get sweaty, and eat healthy!
Thanks for listening 🙂
Question for you:
Are you struggling with anything right now? How do you overcome it?
The last I talked w/ you guys, I had a HUGE picture post about christmas. And yesterday I was going to talk about how I was having a sugar hangover, but things change (ill still post this later)
Yesterday at work, it started as a calm day. I had a 1 day old baby that was doing very well, but was born WAY too early.
Usually within the first 48 hours, the baby goes through, what we call, the Honeymoon Period. Basically, the baby is doing great! The baby might get extubated, have perfect vital signs, and just look comfortable. Then when the honeymoon is over, these babies get in big trouble. (They CAN have problems (and usually do) but every baby is different.)
That evening the baby was not looking good at all. Things went down hill very quickly and the team was called to come help. We were very busy w/ new orders and procedures. When this happens, everyone’s adrenaline is very high (stress levels are also). Luckily, the night shift came in around 7pm, and we had more hands on deck.
I didn’t end up leaving till around 9pm. Not that it matters the time, but I just felt so bad for the family (who I got very close to throughout the day). And also the tiny baby that was very unstable.
Then I heard someone ask the mom if she had touched the baby yet. (my adrenaline also dropping) And I started to cry. The mom wasn’t even able to hold her baby. I knew it was time to go. I couldn’t let the parents see me tearing up. I have a problem/advantage of wearing my heart on my sleeve.
I also have a thing for talking too much. So I knew that after something like that happens, I need someone to talk to. And I realized, I didn’t have anyone at home. (insert more tears)
On the way home, I picked up Andrew from my parents who brought my spirits back. He said “Mom. I swear ALL I dream about is legos!~ I don’t know why…..” haha this came out of nowhere.
Andrew and I when he was a few months old 🙂
I immediately started laughing, while still crying. I guess I just needed my little guy. I put him to bed, made some dinner and called it a night.
And by dinner I mean REAL food. Usually, after a day like that I would reach for ice cream, sweets, and carbs. But I really didn’t do that last night. (luckily I dont have ice cream in my house haha)
I know this was a long post. Probably about something that doesn’t matter. But I just needed to get it out there. Thank you if you made it this far! haha
Today was a little stressful. Well it started last night when I talked w/ Cody and he has to head home this weekend, so no date 😦
I was am bummed. But we have other plans to meet up.
So this morning, I wasn’t in the best mood. And then Im still dealing w/ my bathroom sink 😦 ….. or lack there of……
I grabbed some coffee. Took Andrew to school. and headed to Sams. Then my dad went to my HOME AWAY FROM HOME……Home Depot.
Of course, the cabinet that was there was SO tiny (since its a tiny bathroom) and I will either have to make it myself, order something, or do something completely different in the bathroom. (anyone else see all the $$$$$ flying out the window.)
Ok. Im better.
Those are fake flowers from walmart $0.50! and the vase and rocks from Ikea (my <3)
The whole way home from my second home, I was thinking. I need to run. I need to run.
I could feel the stress level RISING!
And that is exactly what I did. A nice and easy three miles in the 50 DEGREE WEATHER we are having here in St louis. And I am absolutely LOVING!
It was awesome. And then it became perfect when I took a nap.
I have a BILLION things on my TO DO LIST. But I put that all on hold. I needed the rest and “me time” (you guys know I have problems w/ this sometimes. but Im working on it!)
Sorry for all this, but Im going to leave you with a happy picture of Justin the Elf!
Question for you:
what is the temp like where you are?
Are you running, biking, swimming, or just chilling this winter?
Sorry I have been MIA for the past few days. I have been just feeling kindof OFF.
Lots of factors:
-Not enough sleep
-Stress at work
-Tired of dating
-Sad Andrew is going to his dad’s this weekend
-Several people asking for help w/ no “me time”
just lots of stress. so I havent been blogging. mostly because I feel my blogs have been real downers. And I think I actually “lost” one of my good blogging friends. I havent heard from her in weeks 😦
Anyway. I did make a few new recipes!
Ill post them tomorrow!
Last night I also went to dinner w/ the girls from work and to see Breaking Dawn!
Its ok that Im not 15 haha. Team jacob all the way! haha
Tonight Im going to get drinks w/ friends from highschool. Farmers market in the morning. A wedding in the afternoon/evening (which means LOTS of dancing!) And then Sunday I hope to get a lot done around the house, workout, and then Andrew will be home!! YEA!
Question for you:
Do you think my blog is too depressing (be honest. you dont have to put your name if you dont want to)
Im not kidding. i am lost in many ways, but especially without my camera. I don’t even know what to post without pictures (because really who wants to read my post without some good pics? haha)
Anyway, I do have a silly video, but first thing is first. UPDATES
Most of these updates are stressing me out:
Moving THIS weekend!!! (finally) – This will be my FIRST time living by myself. EVER.
I still haven’t found my camera- a few more calls and emails tomorrow
I have no money- see every house post there is on here, then you will know why haha
In one week, I will get my blood drawn again- see why here
Ian and I are not going to be together- its a long story.
I don’t even know where to start or how to say it, and several friends in the NICU have seen the tears, we don’t need to go into it. (basically he is the same guy that wants different things than me, and has different priorities. It still hurts ALOT. I am an optimist and I always try to see the good in people and thing positive. (sometimes I can be a negative nancy, but in the end I know everything works out) Ian and I have known eachother for 8 years now. I thought maybe he had grown up.Realized to put other people first. Unfortuantly that is not the case)
Being single stresses me out. Plain and simple. Not because I know I can’t do it. I have been doing it forever. I was the kid who always played house w/ a mom, dad, and a bunch of kids. I was ALWAYS the “mom” whenever I played with other kids. Heck. Im a nurse who takes care of babies ALL DAY. I love kids and wanted to have a million four.
Yes. I know I am only 26yrs old. But I saw myself in a very different place just a few years ago. So its been hard for me.
I was signed up for a triathlon this saturday and can’t do it- basically I haven’t been training either I have been too busy, tired, or lazy. I also dont want to squeeze my 30 extra lbs into my tri outfit. But Im still going to cheer on a few people I know
My to do list is long. I feel like Im being stretched in too many different ways
Moving. I know I said this one, but moving away from my parents. I KNOW. I KNOW. My mom and I bump heads A few times….here and there. BUT I will miss them. I also will have to get use to locking the doors (dad usually does this) cleaning everything (my mom and I do this) paying for everything (eek!) and it is going to be SOOOOO quiet (although andrew does make a good amount of noise haha. And burglars scare me!
I still have 80 emails in my inbox. haha THis one makes me laugh, but really having that many emails is not cool. When I told my friend Nicole this, she looked at me and said, “you know how many I have? 11,000!” hahah apparently she doesn’t check this email address
Ok. now im going to try and get this video to upload. its of Andrew trying to “surf” down the sand dune in Michigan